Hi Reader

When my client Cristina went through a tough breakup after freshman year in college, she told herself she was fine. She didn’t realize that her relationship with her boyfriend had given her a false sense of confidence and worth.

Not only did she miss the comfort and the sense of everything is OK, she realized she didn’t even know who she really was. Who was she without this relationship and her thoughts were telling her “You are nobody” “You are a loser!” “You will never find another guy as perfect as him.”

For a year, she went back and forth, trying to tell herself she was fine and finding herself in the pit of despair, wondering if she had any worth at all.

She did talk to her parents about it a lot. They told her she needed to get over it. She wanted to get over it, but her thoughts were in a loop she couldn’t break.

When her parents told her she needed to talk to someone, professionally, she was very angry that they would suggest such a thing. “There is nothing wrong with me! You just don’t understand what I am going through! I just need more time. How can someone on a screen help me? I already saw a therapist and that was awful. She didn’t help me at all! In fact, I think I got worse.”

Cristina’s parents persisted until Cristina finally gave in, just to prove to them that it would in fact be a waste of time.

On our first call, Cristina realized that I was different than what she had experienced before. Cristina felt like she was being heard for the first time. No one was trying to tell her what to do or how she should think or feel. Just listening and helping her to make sense of her own thoughts.

That summer, Cristina was moving to Orlando for an internship, so we decided to work together on getting acclimated back into this environment, living by herself, and navigating all the complexities of the workplace. We worked on going back to her Junior year at the University of Alabama and what it would mean to start dating again.

When the next semester started, we worked on working through dating situations and what healthy relationships really are, roommate struggles, getting sick and missing a lot of class and work, professors that seemed unfair and unhelpful, indecision about part-time work or not, going home for the holiday breaks, and vetting her first adult job proposals.

Cristina became more confident and could get herself out of spinning thoughts just by the skills she learned in our sessions. The skills my clients learn can be used in many different situations.

During our work together, I gave Cristina a safe place to be heard, sort through what was really going on, and learn how to move forward with more self-trust instead of staying stuck, overwhelmed, or dependent on someone else’s validation.

Feeling truly heard and understood, instead of feeling like someone was telling her what was wrong with her or how to fix herself.

Untangling the thoughts that kept sending her into a spiral, instead of staying stuck in the same exhausting loops over and over again.

Learning how to come back to center when life felt overwhelming, instead of letting a breakup, roommate issue, illness, internship stress, or workplace conflict take over everything.

Building confidence in her own perspective and decisions, instead of relying on someone else’s validation to feel okay about herself.

Practicing life skills she could use again and again, instead of only solving one problem and then feeling lost the next time something hard happened.

Growing into adulthood with more emotional control and self-trust, instead of wasting years second-guessing, spinning, and trying to figure it all out alone.

As a result, Cristina went from feeling stuck in the same painful thoughts to having a way to come back to herself when life felt overwhelming. She learned how to stop spinning, trust her own perspective, and use the same tools through breakups, college stress, roommate issues, internships, workplace conflict, and the transition into adulthood.

But this kind of growth did not happen because someone told her to “just move on” or “think positive.” It happened because she had a safe place to say the things she could not always say to her parents, hear herself more clearly, and learn how to separate what was actually happening from what her anxious brain was making it mean.

If your teen or young adult looks like they are “fine” on the outside but is overwhelmed, stuck, lonely, anxious, or second-guessing everything on the inside, this is exactly why I created The Resilient Launch.

​Click here to learn more about how The Resilient Launch can support your family, or click here to book a call so we can talk about your teen’s next best step.

I can't wait to see what we can do together!

Cynthia

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"You have power over your mind—not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength."