Hi Reader

I have been working on an interactive board for an upcoming Back to Campus event. At the top, it asks one simple question:

What feels hardest right now?

Students can place a dot beside one of six answers:

• Keeping up with everything
• Meeting people
• Asking for help
• Stress and overthinking
• Sleep and energy
• Roommates and boundaries

After they choose, they can take a card with one small strategy they can try.

I am really curious to see where students put their dots, but I am even more curious about something else.

If your freshman stood in front of this board, which one would they choose?

And would their answer be the same one you would choose for them?

As parents, we may see the missed assignment and assume the problem is time management. Our child may say the hardest part is feeling so overwhelmed that they cannot figure out where to begin.

We may worry that they have not made enough friends. They may be more concerned about how to email a professor without sounding stupid.

We can see what is happening from the outside, but our freshman is the only one who knows what it feels like on the inside.

Here is what each of these struggles might look like and one small strategy that can help.

1. Keeping up with everything

In high school, much of a student’s day was already structured. College gives them more freedom, but it also asks them to create much of that structure for themselves.

When classes, assignments, appointments, laundry, meals and social activities all compete for attention, students may not know what to do first. They may scroll, avoid or do something unimportant because choosing feels overwhelming.

Instead of trying to organize their entire life, they can try a 10-Minute Start:

1. Write down everything pulling at their attention.
2. Circle the one thing that matters most today.
3. Choose the first step that will take 10 minutes or less.
4. Set a timer and do only that step.

They do not need to finish everything right now. They need a clear place to begin.

2. Meeting people

It can look as if everyone else arrived on campus and immediately found their group. Social media, welcome-week pictures and groups of students walking together can make a freshman believe they are the only one who has not made friends.

But most college friendships grow through small, repeated moments.

A student can begin with one easy question:

• “Have you figured out where everything is yet?”
• “What did you think of that class?”
• “Are you going to any of the events this week?”
• “Is this seat taken?”

They do not have to walk into a room and instantly make a best friend. One small connection is enough for today.

3. Asking for help

Many freshmen know that help is available. That does not mean they know when to ask, whom to contact, or what to say.

Some students believe they should already understand the material before talking to a professor. Others worry that asking a question will make them look unprepared.

Here is a message they can use:

Hi Professor [Name],

I’m working on [assignment or topic], and I’m getting stuck on [specific problem].

Could you help me understand [your question], or tell me the best next step?

Thank you,
[Your name]

They do not need to know exactly what kind of help they need before they ask. Identifying where they are stuck is enough to begin.

4. Stress and overthinking

Anxiety does not always look like someone saying, “I feel anxious.”

It might look like avoiding Canvas, rereading an email 15 times, staying in bed, putting off an assignment, or deciding that one bad grade means they do not belong in college.

Before students try to solve the whole problem, they can help their bodies come out of alarm mode.

They can put both feet on the floor, let their shoulders drop, inhale gently for four counts and exhale slowly for six. After repeating that five times, they can ask:

“What is my next best step?”

They do not have to solve the entire semester in that moment.

5. Sleep and energy

Without a parent setting expectations or a high school schedule beginning at the same time every day, sleep can quickly become inconsistent.

A student may stay up studying, talking with friends, or scrolling, then struggle to wake up for class. Trying to create a perfect nighttime routine can become another overwhelming task.

Instead, they can choose one sleep anchor:

• Keep a consistent wake-up time.
• Put the alarm somewhere they have to stand up to reach.
• Plug the phone in away from the pillow.
• Dim the lights 15 minutes before bed.
• Choose one calming activity before sleep.

The routine does not need to be perfect. It needs to be realistic enough to repeat.

6. Roommates and boundaries

Roommate problems often begin as small annoyances that no one discusses.

One person wants the room quiet. The other wants friends over. One likes the lights on late. The other has an early class.

Instead of avoiding the conversation until they are angry, students can try:

“When __________ happens, it makes it hard for me to __________. Could we try __________?”

For example:

“When the overhead light stays on after midnight, I have trouble sleeping. Could we agree on a lights-out time or use a desk lamp?”

A boundary is not about controlling someone else. It is about clearly communicating what you need.

You do not need to fix all six

If your freshman is struggling, you do not need to send them six strategies and a complete plan.

Start by asking:

“If you had to choose one, what feels hardest right now?”

Then follow with:

“Would you like me to listen, help you think it through or help you find a resource?”

That gives them support while allowing them to remain responsible for deciding what happens next.

If your college freshman needs more personalized help with time, stress, routines, self-advocacy, friendships, or real-life college situations, that is exactly why I created The Resilient Launch.

Through private and small-group coaching, students create strategies that fit who they are and practice using those strategies in their actual college lives.

LEARN MORE ABOUT THE RESILIENT LAUNCH BY CLICKING THE PHOTO OF ME BELOW!

I want more information about The Resilient Launch

If anxiety, overthinking, avoidance, or perfectionism is the larger struggle, I also offer personalized anxiety coaching for teens and college students.

​[LEARN MORE ABOUT ANXIETY COACHING]​

Your freshman does not have to learn every college lesson the hardest possible way. Personalized support can help them become more independent, not less.

Talk soon,
Cynthia

New Live Q & A session

Happening Monday, August 24 @ 4:00 PM CDT

I want to attend the Live Q and A!

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"Your freshman does not need to master everything at once. They need one next step, one useful tool, and the confidence to ask for support when they need it."