Hi Reader, After 25 years in a school counselor’s office, I’ve sat across from hundreds of "stuck" teenagers. Usually, they’re staring at a college application or a list of majors with a look of pure static. When a teen says, “I don’t know what I want to do,” adults tend to translate that as laziness, fear, or a lack of ambition. But here is what I’ve realized: They aren't avoiding the choice. They just don't have the data to make it. I remember a student—let’s call her Maya—who cycled...
8 days ago • 2 min read
Hi Reader, A student once told me, “I think I want to take a gap year.” His parents immediately assumed he was avoiding responsibility. But when we slowed down, something else surfaced. He was exhausted.He had never managed his own schedule.He had never handled money.He had never made a decision without external structure. He didn’t want to escape. He felt unprepared. That’s a very different conversation. Because sometimes “not ready” isn’t resistance. It’s awareness. That conversation...
15 days ago • 3 min read
Hi Reader, When teens say, “I don’t know what I want to do.” Parents hear: • Indecision• Procrastination• Avoidance• A ticking clock But most of the time, it’s not laziness. It’s a decision filter. And if we don’t understand the filter, we push harder. Which usually makes it worse. After 25 years as a school counselor and now coaching teens 1:1, I’ve noticed that post-secondary decisions usually run through one of four filters. When you recognize the filter, everything changes. The 4 Decision...
22 days ago • 2 min read
Hi Reader, Last week, we slowed things down. Instead of starting with where or when college should happen, we asked a different question: Why am I considering college at all? This week, we go one layer deeper. Because college is not a reward.It’s not a requirement.It’s not a guarantee. College is a tool. And like any tool, it works best when you’re clear about what job you’re hiring it to do. When I first went to college, I didn’t realize I was hiring college for a job it couldn’t actually...
29 days ago • 1 min read
Hi there, Many families think college planning has to feel overwhelming. It doesn’t. The stress usually comes from: Too much conflicting advice Not knowing what actually matters Feeling like you’re either behind—or doing too much That’s why we’re hosting a free live conversation for parents and teens called: Top Things Colleges Are Really Looking For This isn’t about “doing more.”It’s about doing the right things at the right time. In this session, we’ll talk honestly about: What colleges pay...
about 1 month ago • 1 min read
Hi Reader, When I first went to college, I was going for one main reason: I wanted to get away. I wanted out of my hometown.I wanted independence from my parents.I wanted a new life and a new version of myself. Here was a barrier I didn't consider:I was also completely head over heels in love with a boyfriend… who lived back home. So I moved 90 miles away, into a dorm, thinking college would give me freedom — while missing everything familiar at the same time. I told myself I was ready for...
about 1 month ago • 3 min read
Hi Reader, When I first went to college, I was going for one main reason: I wanted to get away. I wanted out of my hometown.I wanted independence from my parents.I wanted a new life and a new version of myself. Here was a barrier I didn't consider:I was also completely head over heels in love with a boyfriend… who lived back home. So I moved 90 miles away, into a dorm, thinking college would give me freedom — while missing everything familiar at the same time. I told myself I was ready for...
about 1 month ago • 3 min read
Hi friend, I had one of those ordinary, slightly annoying adult moments recently. My car was filthy. Inside and out.And my coffee pot? It had stopped working the way it should. Neither of these things happened suddenly. The car didn’t get dirty overnight.The coffee pot didn’t break all at once. They slowly became less functional because I hadn’t been maintaining them. So I finally did the things I didn’t really want to do.I cleaned out my car.I descaled the coffee pot.I put the tasks on my...
about 1 month ago • 2 min read
Hi friend, When I was talking with my assistant, Cristina, about turning my podcast episodes into a book, she casually said something that I hadn't even thought about: “If a young person doesn’t know how to manage their time, it’s going to be really hard for them to practice emotional regulation.” She was absolutely right. I had been thinking of scheduling and calendaring as a later life skill—something you learn after you’ve mastered anxiety tools, coping skills, and emotional awareness. But...
about 2 months ago • 3 min read