Hi Reader,

When I first went to college, I was going for one main reason: I wanted to get away.

I wanted out of my hometown.
I wanted independence from my parents.
I wanted a new life and a new version of myself.

Here was a barrier I didn't consider:
I was also completely head over heels in love with a boyfriend… who lived back home.

So I moved 90 miles away, into a dorm, thinking college would give me freedom — while missing everything familiar at the same time.

I told myself I was ready for that kind of change.

I wasn’t.

Within weeks, I was crying every day. I stopped going to class. And before Halloween, I left — without telling anyone.

Not my parents.
Not my friends.
Not even my best friend who lived one floor above me in the dorm and came down one day to find my room empty.

I didn’t leave because I wasn’t capable.
I left because I was hiring college to do a job it couldn’t actually do for me.

I was hiring school to get me out of my old life.

And that wasn’t the right job — at least not yet.

When I left, I felt instant relief.

Later, I felt shame. I carried a 0.0 GPA from that first semester. For years, that semester felt like something I had to hide — even though I later went back, finished my degree, and earned a Master’s degree from the same university.

Here’s something I find fascinating now:
My Master’s transcript shows a 0.0 GPA from 1986… and a 4.0 GPA from 1996.

Same person.
Same school.
Different timing.

That experience shaped how I’ve spent my entire career with students and families.

What I wish teens understood is this:

You do not have to force a “college experience” because everyone else is doing it.
If you’re unsure, it’s okay to try something for six months, learn from it, and adjust.
Only go to college when you’re ready to actually do school — not just escape, not just hang out, not just check a box.

And what I wish parents understood is this:

Everyone has their own timing.

I’ve seen students take ten years to finish a degree in small chunks and thrive.
I’ve seen students leave school, work, build skills, and never go back — and build meaningful lives.
I’ve seen students take breaks, change direction, and return stronger.

What matters most isn’t the school.

It’s what you do once you’re there.

This is why, before we talk about where to go — or even if college is the next step — we need to ask a different question:

Why am I choosing college right now?

Not what looks good.
Not what’s expected.
Not what other people will think.

But what job are you hoping college will do for you in this season of life?

Over the next four weeks, we’re going to explore that question together — calmly, honestly, and without panic.

For this week, your only job is awareness.

​I’ve created a simple one-page reflection you can use:

• on your own
• as a family conversation
• or in a classroom or counseling group

You don’t need answers yet.

You just need permission to notice.

Nothing has gone wrong.
You are still 100% worthy and capable — no matter what path unfolds next.

​Let's talk if you want to brainstorm about your one-page reflection!

Talk to you soon!

Cynthia

PS: Parenting a teen? Join me at the Teen Savvy Parent Summit, a free virtual event hosted by Sam Straub (Teen Savvy Coaching) on February 15–16. Sessions cover anxiety, communication, emotional regulation, resilience, and parent well-being. VIP passes are available for lifetime access + bonus content.
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