Hi Reader,

After 25 years in a school counselor’s office, I’ve sat across from hundreds of "stuck" teenagers. Usually, they’re staring at a college application or a list of majors with a look of pure static.

When a teen says, “I don’t know what I want to do,” adults tend to translate that as laziness, fear, or a lack of ambition.

But here is what I’ve realized: They aren't avoiding the choice. They just don't have the data to make it.

I remember a student—let’s call her Maya—who cycled through five different majors in one semester. Nursing, Business, Psychology... she was exhausted, and her parents were starting to think she just wasn't "driven."

She wasn’t lazy. She was guessing.

We stopped talking about career titles and started talking about wiring. We looked at what actually energized her versus what drained her. We looked at how she naturally solved problems. Once she understood her own internal "operating system," the major didn't feel like a high-stakes gamble anymore. It felt like a logical fit.

The Takeaway: We often ask kids "What do you want to do?" before we help them answer "How are you built?" Clarity isn’t something they’re born with; it’s something we help them uncover.

A Quick 10-Minute Connection: This week, try an "Energy Audit" together.

• Teen: List 3 tasks that make time fly and 3 that make you want to nap immediately.
• Parent: Write down when you see your teen "light up" (is it when they’re organizing a group, solving a solo puzzle, or creating something from scratch?).

Compare your notes. You might find a pattern that a standard career test would miss.

For my fellow School Counselors: How many of our students are choosing paths based on prestige or peer pressure because they haven't been given the tools to look inward first? Self-awareness isn't a "soft skill"—it’s the foundation of every successful transition.

Later this month, I’ll be diving deeper into how we can turn this kind of self-understanding into a concrete roadmap. For now, let’s take the pressure off the "Decision" and put the focus on the "Discovery."

Talk to you soon!

Cynthia

This is the next Live Zoom conversation for teens and their parents.

Join me for a live Zoom conversation with Stephanie Hickman-Boyse, the CEO and co-founder of Jebbee. Stephanie is a former global manufacturing CEO who turned down an appearance on Undercover Boss to focus on a new mission: helping Gen Z navigate the overwhelming pressure of career choices.

With 84% of students worrying that the wrong degree will hurt their financial future, Stephanie is here to show us a better way. We’ll explore how her free platform, Jebbee, acts as a "mass mentoring" tool to help teens find their path through self-exploration and real professional connections.

Bring your questions—and your teen—as we learn how to make informed, lower-stress decisions about life after high school.

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"At the center of your being, you have the answer; you know who you are and you know what you want." Lao Tzu