Hi Reader,

If you're parenting a teen or young adult, you've probably heard it.

"I don't know what I want to do."

And honestly? My first instinct used to be — okay, they're just avoiding. They don't want to think about it. They'll figure it out eventually.

But I kept seeing something else underneath that.

Because here's what's actually running through their head:

What if I pick wrong? What if I'm not even good at anything? What if I try and everyone watches me fail?

So they stall. They go quiet. They change the subject.

Not because they don't care — they usually care deeply — but because caring that much makes the stakes feel impossible.

Here's the shift that changed how I work with teens around this:

It's not a motivation problem. It's a visibility problem.

Anxiety doesn't just make things feel scary. It makes everything look equally wrong. And when every path looks risky, doing nothing starts to feel like the only safe option.

More pressure doesn't fix that. "Just pick something" definitely doesn't fix that.

What actually moves the needle is clarity — helping them understand who they are, what they're good at, what actually matters to them. Not in a generic quiz way. In a way that makes those anxious what-ifs start to lose their grip.

When that happens, something shifts. The overwhelm quiets down. A few real options start to surface. And they stop feeling like they're behind and start feeling like they have somewhere to go.

That's where confidence actually comes from. I've watched it happen enough times now that I'm sure of it.

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TIME CHANGE FOR THIS EVENT!

Tomorrow I'm hosting a conversation with Stephanie Hickman-Boyse — she created Jebbee, a self-awareness tool built specifically for this — and we're talking through how teens go from "I have no idea" to actually having direction.

👉 Join us: https://us02web.zoom.us/j/84233645228?pwd=2PZamBVNWqb157xuDUOlBuuKM2rGyZ.1​

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And if you're reading this thinking that's my kid right now — you're not alone. This is one of the most common things I hear from parents.

I have a few 1:1 spots opening in April if you want some focused support. Just reply to this email and I'll share details.

— Cynthia

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Something New I'm Starting

This month I'm launching something I'm really excited about.

A small in-person group for young adults called:

Becoming Capable Humans

This group focuses on the skills that actually help young people succeed in adulthood:

• self-awareness
• emotional regulation
• decision-making
• mental health literacy
• understanding strengths and interests
• navigating work and life environments

🗓 2nd & 4th Wednesdays​
⏰ 7:00–8:00 PM​
📍 Topeka, Kansas

Once you register, you'll receive the location details.

At the end of the program, participants will receive a certificate recognizing these life readiness skills — something they can include on resumes or applications.

These are exactly the skills employers and colleges wish more young people had.

[If you live in Topeka, reply to this email if you would like the registration.]

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If you want all of my workshops, parent education, and every parent/teen resource I have created in ONE place:

Join my Parent Membership, Parenting Through the Maze.

Follow and Subscribe to my Social Media:

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"You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step."

Martin Luther King Jr.